Children are a resilient lot. They adjust to physical and cognitive difficulties with aplomb and hard work that embarrasses adults with similar problems.
Unfortunately, their peers, and the parents of their peers, often have problems dealing with playmates who are changed because of accidents or illness.
Meghan McFarland, a pediatric rehabilitation therapist at St. John's Hospital, said she noticed the difference when disabled children played with children who also had difficulties.
"Mainstreaming is important," she said, "but it's also important to give kids a chance to play in a stress-free environment with other children who also are different."
McFarland said children who go back to school and back among friends after a long illness or an accident that may change their physical and mental stamina struggle to keep up. "Their friends have a hard time understanding why their friend is now 'different' and can't do the same things they used to do."
She started Peers Activity Love and Support, or PALS, in July. The play group meets once a month and is just for play. "These kids realize they are different, and they can play with children who are also different and it's just a great interaction and very positive," McFarland said.
There are special activities planned: Girl's Night, Sports Night, Halloween and Christmas parties and a garden night where a nursery donated plants and the kids got to plant their own potted gardens. Community groups pitch in and help make the events special.
PALS is geared for ages 4 and older, McFarland said. "You really aren't going to 'age out' of the group," she explained. "The older kids enjoy it and help with the younger kids. They wait for each other and help each other. They have their favorites, but it's not a competitive type of group."
Right now there are about 10 children in the group, but there's lots of room for others, McFarland said, and it is not limited to children who have been treated at St. John's or are getting therapy there. "We are trying to get the word out to therapists and social workers that the group exists," she added.
Lauren Turner, 12, has been coming to PALS since it started. With her big eyes and pixie haircut, she's the picture of a future prom queen. A stroke complicated with vascular difficulties because of an illness brought her to physical therapy and into PALS.
She likes, "hanging out with Meghan" and decorating pumpkins with plenty of glitter. The Wii bowling she enjoys helps with her hand-eye coordination, but for her it's just fun - especially if she can beat her mother, Stacie or Meghan.
"I've seen her grow socially because of the play group," Stacie Turner said. "But really, it's not about that. It's about having a social event that's for her - something she's invited to. She gets invited to stuff," Stacie Turner explained, "but usually not more than once. She needs help with things, and for some people it's a big effort to have her mother there or someone to help,"
Cameron Huffines, 8, has a delicate dusting of freckles across his nose and a mischievous glint in his eye. A brain tumor and complications from its removal necessitated him learning to talk, walk and eat all over again.
Now he delights in tormenting his mother, Melissa Jones, with declarations that he wants to be a dirt bike racer and a football player. "I liked the Capital City Outlaws. I am going to be a football player," and he glances at his mother. "And, I want a dirt bike, a yellow one."
"A neighbor gave him a football helmet and a football," said Melissa Jones. "He really enjoyed the football players."
Jones said her son looks forward to the play group and he looks forward to seeing his friends in the group. "I think it has helped him," she said. "But it's nice to see him just having fun and not worrying about anything."
As an added bonus, during the PALS play group, McFarland tries to bring in speakers to talk to the parents.
"We had one speaker that talked about some of the problems and difficulties children have from a certain disease and, Lauren has problems but nothing like that. It makes you grateful for what you have and it makes you think your problems aren't so bad," said Stacie Turner.
"I think the program is a great idea," Jones said. "It's something he can look forward to and it's something special for him."
For more information about PALS contact Meghan McFarland at St. John's Children Hospital, 544-6464, ext. 30239.
Kathleen Ostrander can be reached at 747-1296.
Photo: Erica Cusumano / The State Journal-Register -- Meghan McFarland helps Cameron Huffines with some play time on the climbing wall.
